Saturday, October 5, 2013

Innermost


So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

~I John IV.16-18

     O I have seen
  though not understood
          your Love.
It catches unawares as I lean
    into fear and anxiety, unrest, mistrust
What I ought to do and what could happen.
     It springs light into my doubt
 and whispers rest into my chaos.

  And I know what it means to abide
I could tell you a hundred ways to try
    but still fail to see
 that Spirit abiding in me,
   the first Abider, who broods inside
with quickening tide of life
       and deep, rich stillness.
     Who says
         — Come to me. Let go, and come to me.


Because I know now that Christ sees
       for he answers thoughts unprayed
   and prayers unsung
     sometimes so pointedly that I, bewildered,
 don't know whether to laugh or cry for
         deep-chested relief.
  He knows we are dust.
Our frailty is dear to him
   for he sees.   He knows the heart within
 us is stone, unmoveable, unchangeable
   uphill rolling and again to try
 to change ourselves, so he takes offered up souls,
gifted bodies,
        and he transforms us.
Moves in us that still Spirit
        to restore divine image lost,
     heal fragile dust.

   And I knew what it meant to abide
 I could find a hundred ways to try
   but miss the stillness of that Spirit
       abiding inside,
   first Lover, spreading point of light.
Who says
 — Come in all of your dustiness
         to meet my love.

Who removes from closed hands
            vices of daughters
        faults of sons
  and they bewildered, enamored, staggered
           behold abounding enormity
       of your charity which floods with abundance
               children of dirt
      while you exhort, correct, disciple
            straighten bent souls
          beneath your care.

 Truly we live with mysteries
          we cannot comprehend.
   Yes, I have seen, but not understood
                      your Love.


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